When Control Fails, Try Trust.
- Tracy Astle
- Apr 29
- 3 min read
Picture this:
You’re standing in front of the fridge, the kitchen light the only thing glowing in the dark. It’s late. Everyone’s in bed. You’re not really hungry, but something inside is unsettled. You eat just one spoonful of ice cream. Then another. And then, somewhere between the fourth and the “I stopped counting,” your stomach aches—but your heart aches more.
You close the freezer door and scold yourself, “What is wrong with me?”
That moment? That swirl of shame, confusion, and self-blame? That’s what it feels like to not trust your body.
When Control Feels Safer Than Trust
Most of us weren’t taught to trust our bodies—we were taught to manage them, fix them, discipline them.
We were told:
· Cravings are dangerous.
· Hunger is a weakness.
· Bodies are unruly.
· Desire needs to be tamed.
So we learned to silence our stomachs, override our fatigue, push through pain, and punish ourselves with exercise. We swapped instincts for calorie counters, cravings for shame, and joy for guilt.
And honestly? That mistrust often feels safer—because the idea of letting go, of actually listening to our bodies, can feel downright terrifying.
The Fear Behind the Food Rules
If you’ve ever thought:
· “If I let myself eat what I want, I’ll never stop.”
· “I can’t be trusted. I’ll spiral.”
· “My body will betray me.”
You’re not alone. These thoughts come from fear, not failure.
You might fear waking up one day and not recognizing yourself. You might imagine yourself elbow-deep in a bag of chips, disconnected, defeated, ashamed. And you think—This is why I need rules.
But what if those rules are one of the main reasons you feel so out of control?
What if the constant monitoring and restricting is what disconnects you from your body’s natural signals—its hunger, its fullness, its “I’m done now”—and leaves you grasping for control that only tightens the leash?
What Body Trust Actually Feels Like
Now, imagine this instead:
You’re sitting outside on a warm spring day, the sun warming your shoulders. You’re eating a sandwich—not a “safe” food, just something you genuinely wanted. You notice the crunch, the blend of flavors, the way your body hums with contentment as you take that second bite. Halfway through, your body says, That’s enough for now. You wrap up the rest, no drama, no guilt.
You feel nourished. Satisfied. Free.
Or picture walking into your favorite bakery. The smell of cinnamon and butter wraps around you. You order the croissant because it sounds good today, not because you’re “allowed” or “earning” it. You enjoy it fully—flaky crumbs on your lips, butter melting on your tongue—and you move on with your day. No mental gymnastics. No inner war.
That’s what it’s like to trust your body. It’s quiet. It’s calm. It’s connection.
How to Start Rebuilding Trust
Trust doesn’t rebuild overnight. It’s not a before-and-after photo. It’s slow, sacred work—one small act of kindness at a time.
Here’s how you can begin:
🍽 Tune in before you eat.
Ask yourself: What does my body actually want right now? Not what’s “healthy” or “correct,” but what will truly satisfy me? Listen for the answer.
🤍 Notice your fullness without judgment.
Mid-meal, pause. Feel your belly. Not your brain, not the guilt—but your actual body. Is it asking for more? Or is it whispering enough?
🌿 Let movement feel like play.
Forget burning calories. Move because it brings you back into your body. Dance barefoot in your kitchen. Walk slowly after dinner. Stretch like a cat on the living room floor.
💭 Replace harsh thoughts with compassionate curiosity.
When the old voices pipe up—“You shouldn’t have eaten that!”—ask yourself: What am I actually needing right now? Comfort? Rest? Connection?
📖 Write to your body like a friend.
If you're a journaler, try this prompt: Dear Body, I’m sorry for… and Thank you for…
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present.
The Truth?
Your body is not the enemy. It’s the ally you’ve been ignoring, mistrusting, and battling for too long. It’s time to make peace.
Because when you trust your body:
· Food becomes less loud.
· Movement becomes more joyful.
· Life becomes lighter.
And you? You begin to feel whole again.
If this stirred something in you, I want you to know: you're not alone. And you don’t have to figure this out by yourself.
✨ Contact me if you’re ready to take a step toward peace with your body.
I’d be honored to walk with you.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing.
Let’s rebuild trust—together.
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