Fear Loses Its Grip When Love Steps In

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear.”—1 John 4:18

Recently, I had the joy of talking with two wise and beautiful souls—Lisa Roye Bowers and Lois Zehr—about something we all wrestle with: fear.

Fear that we’re not doing enough.

Fear that something bad will happen.

Fear of what people think.

Fear that we’ll never fully change or heal.

Fear can be so sneaky. It doesn't always come in dramatic waves. Often, it hides in the background like a low hum, influencing our choices without us even realizing it.

Fear shows up in ordinary, everyday moments:

• Avoiding rest because productivity feels safer.

• Overthinking a conversation from yesterday.

• Feeling paralyzed when trying to make a big decision.

• Holding back on a dream because it might not work out.

• Controlling food, appearance, or schedules to create a false sense of security.

• Worrying about what others think, replaying interactions, editing yourself.

• Hesitating to take a step toward healing or growth because... what if you fail?

• Behaving in unhealthy ways in an effort to find or keep a relationship.

  
  

You know what fear really wants?

To keep you small.

To keep you safe.

To keep you disconnected from your God-given identity.

But here’s the good news:

Fear can’t stay when love enters the room.

Not surface-level love. Not fluffy affirmations.I’m talking about God’s love—deep, eternal, unwavering, perfect.

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Lois shared a visualization she uses when she’s feeling fear:

She imagines God’s love as an ocean.

Now, Lois is afraid of water—so instead of diving in, she imagines climbing into her inner tube and wading into the water slowly.

As she floats further and further out, she lets herself be carried, surrounded, and immersed in the vast, endless love of God.

There’s no striving. No gripping the sides. Just resting. Floating. Being.

And in that place, the fear begins to melt away.

It’s such a vivid picture. Because love is not something we have to create. It already surrounds us. It’s the very nature of God.

When you allow yourself to rest in that love—even if you can’t fully understand it or feel it right away—it begins to dissolve fear’s grip.

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So how do we bring in love when fear feels closer than God?

Start small. Start simple. Start right where you are.

Here are three ways I’ve seen make a difference, both in my life and in the lives of women I work with:

🖊️ 1. Journaling with honesty and love

Fear loves to swirl around in our heads. But something powerful happens when you let those thoughts out on paper. Try asking:

• “What am I afraid of right now?”

• “What does fear want me to believe?”

• “What would Love say instead?”

  
  

You don’t have to fix everything in one sitting. Just give yourself space to notice—and then, invite God into the page with you.

👁️ 2. Visualization to connect with truth

Lois’s inner tube imagery might become one of your favorites. Or you might imagine:

• Sitting at the feet of Jesus with His hand on your head or shoulder.

• Being wrapped in a warm blanket of light and peace.

• Walking with God through a field of wildflowers, feeling free, and seen, and known.

  
  

Visualization isn't just daydreaming—it’s rehearsing truth with the imagination God gave you.

📖 3. Scripture-based Self-Talk (that sounds like you!)

God’s Word isn’t meant to be a rigid chant—it’s a living promise that can become your daily language of love.

Instead of “I’ll never get this right,” try:

“God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” (2 Tim. 1:7)

Instead of “I’m all alone in this,” try:

“The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.” (Psalm 118:6)

Instead of “I’m not good enough,” try:

“I am God’s masterpiece, created in Christ to do good works.” (Eph. 2:10)

Write them down. Say them out loud. Personalize them.

Let them become familiar like a favorite sweater—comfortable, grounding, and undeniably yours.

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There’s no shame in feeling fear.

There’s no guilt in needing reminders of love.

But here’s what I want you to know:

You don’t have to live in fear.

You were made to live loved.

You don’t have to work your way out of fear.

You only have to let love in.

And perfect love—God’s love—casts it out.

Again and again.

So today, maybe it’s your turn to grab your inner tube, wade into the ocean of God’s love, and float.

No fear. Just love.

(Heads up: Lisa, Lois, and I meet regularly for what we call our Wisdom From the Well calls, where we have Christ-centered talks about current concerns and practical ways to actively bring our faith into practice in daily life.  We’ve begun recording our “Still Waters Conversations” and plan on sharing them in the near future. Watch for more info soon.)